How To Approach Women
Every day I read dozens of articles from other authors looking for tips on how to approach girls and then eventually seduce them. This niche is saturated so, as you can imagine, finding original and useful tips on how to approach women is like searching for a needle in a haystack.
I take great pride in my website and would publish only the best tips I read. Advice on approaching women are a dime a dozen and my visitors trust that I only include the best tips on approaching girls here on this site.
Guys from all over the world have no choice but to search all over the internet for ways on how to approach girls and are usually left discouraged and confused. My goal is to not only write my own ideas but also share all the different ways other successful men use to approach women successfully. After all, what works for one person doesn't necessarily mean it could work for anyone.
Below are articles that I thought you guys would find interesting and useful. They include different techniques taught and used by various dating experts, and you can read it all here.
Enjoy.
Learn how To approach girls at a bar or club
By Kurt Dight from dating-secrets2.com
You're at a nightclub scamming for babes. Things aren't going good. Looks like you'll be leaving the club like you usually do... alone. You think to yourself... “how do I approach women at nightclubs?” In this article, I will show you how.
The nightclub is a strange environment. Go to one, and you'll see women engaging in one of the greatest mysteries of all time - Dressing up sexy to get attention for men, then acting annoyed when men actually give them attention. So how do you overcome this obstacle? With some strategy and tactics. Let me share with you some of my favorites. They have become my favorites based one criteria – the results the bring.
Nightclub strategy one: I'm not them
Put yourself in a beautiful woman's high heels. You're at a nightclub. How many times will you get approached? Once, twice? Hardly. Try ten times... or even more.
As a man who “gets it”, this is actually to your advantage. Why? Because most guys are dumb, drunk and totally clueless when it comes to creating attraction.
"Here's a tip that will help you approach women successfully: Don't approach a girl drunk! When you go to a bar, watch how much you drink. Have you any idea how ridiculous we men are when we're drunk? Well, take that thought and magnify it by 10 because women are absolutely repulsed by an intoxicated man."
Say to yourself right now... “I'm not them!”
Who are “them”? The men who offer to buy women drinks, kiss up to them in nightclubs and use lame pickup lines. All these actions accomplish one thing... loss of power. You don't want to communicate to a woman that you aren't in control of yourself and out of your element.
"I used to buy women drinks all the time. Why? Because I was pathetic, that's why. Never send a drink before you approach women. Immediately they become suspicious and wonder what the hell you're after. A general rule is that nothing is free and when it is, someone is looking for something in return."
You need to have this mind state - you are comfortable in your own reality, and nothing she can do will disrupt that comfort. Remember, there will be resistance when you approach a girl. It's part of the nightclub ritual. She's testing you. Are you in control of your own reality, or will you give up your power at the first sign of trouble? And in a nightclub, it's even more specific. Can you keep up a conversation with a woman that isn't exactly easygoing and friendly?
There's two kinds of resistance. One kind if from the “rude woman” and it's very real. Too tough a nut to crack in one setting. If you approach women regularly, you will run into her kind once in a while. Don't take in personal. Move on.
"Though women usually will put up a wall to protect themselves from predatory men, the ones who are looking to meet men always give them a chance. Running into a bitch will happen every so often and they are usually the ones who have no interest in meeting anyone. They could be out just to have fun or have a boyfriend waiting at home. My girlfriend, for example, is the sweetest girl I know but when she's at a club she is a bitch to every man who approaches her. Why? Because men don't take "No" for what it is when it's said nicely. Being a bitch will surely keep even the most confident man away. What man wants to be scowled at and told off by a woman with witnesses around, anyway?"
The other kind of resistance is “give me an excuse to be friendly to you” resistance. If you are picking up on this vibe, press on my friend. She has given you the first indicator that she is interested in you.
Here's two ways to keep the conversation flowing. Charm and routine. My definition of charm is teasing a woman in a way that makes her laugh. It communicates that you are both confident and fun to be around. This is a great formula for producing attraction, and it's a great way to avoid the “friendship zone”.
Routine is a category for things like palmistry, handwriting analysis, magic, and astrology. Read books on any of these if you want to learn a few routines to make interesting conversation.
"You know those articles I write about confidence? Well, it helps with this little "routine" tip Dight talks about. Without confidence you will never have the balls to successfully perform any routine when approaching women.
After working on your confidence, think of things you are good at that the general public may be interested in. Learning palmistry, handwriting analysis, and magic are great, but finding something that you are good at may work better than learning it with the only purpose of approaching women.
I'm an active observer and can remember a lot of things about people. Not only that, but when I'm at a social even I have a tendency of trying to predict the next move someone makes. This talent of mine has worked wonders with women. Even if I am off on a prediction, I find ways to find humor from it. It's a no lose situation for me because conversation erupts whether or not I'm correct.
After creating conversation and passing her resistance test, you have two options. Stay and try to close the deal, or get her contact information and leave. Nightclubs are a tricky environment with lots of distractions such as drunk, dumb guys and her group of protective (and jealous) friends. You must be very skilled in “attraction conversation” to keep the flow going.
If you're not experienced with this yet I suggest you get her number and follow up later on your own terms. There are less chances to make errors this way.
Before this article gets too long, I'll give you a quick summary one other great technique for beginners when learning how to approach women. It's called the “buddy system”, and is designed specifically for nightclubs. Get a friend to “scout” for you, and do the same for him. Have him approach a girl you like and say, “Hey there. You know something? I think my friend would really like you. He's...” and then have him talk you up.
Soon you show up and are introduced. This technique throws a woman off balance, because her radar is programmed only for direct approaches. This makes the initial conversation with her a lot more easier.
"Believe it or not, the buddy system works. I refused to use it for years when looking to approach women but was surprised the night I thought I'd give it a try. I thought to myself that women aren't stupid. They know what's going on. So what? Who cares if she knows you are using your friend to meet you? As long as you don't expect them to come over to you, there is no problem with it.
Having your friend walk up to a woman and tell her that you like her and then giving her the option to approach you NEVER WORKS. First, women don't like approaching men. Second, a woman wants a man with enough confidence to at least make a try for it. "
In the end remember... it's just a woman at a nightclub. It doesn't matter if she likes you or not. Just talk to her. She expects you to. Practice communicating that you are comfortable in your own reality, and that you are different than every other drunk and dumb guy that approaches her.
Do this and you'll wonder why you ever thought it was hard to approach women at nightclubs.
Three tips to approach women
By Mikee Dunn
You know, I used to be just like you. I used to be intimidated or even almost afraid to approach women and talk to them. It didn’t matter if I was looking for a date or if I just needed to ask the time, approaching women frightened me for some reason. I really needed to learn how to approach a girl, and after a lot of time and practice I have formulated a few tips that almost any man can use, who believes that he needs help on how to approach women.
How to approach women tip #1: Find a common interest. I was at the drugstore one day soon after I decided to do something about my little problem. I was there to buy sleeping pills because I had been suffering from a mild form of insomnia. Anyways, when I reached out to grab a box of pills, another beautiful woman reached for the box right near it. We both caught each others eyes and laughed. I asked her if she was having trouble sleeping, to which she replied “yes.” She asked the same question back to me and I said “No, I’m just getting ready to hibernate for the winter.” She laughed. Did you see that? We had a similar problem of insomnia but used that as an opportunity to get to know a woman better. We dated for two months before she had to move back to Phoenix.
"What are women looking for when finding men? Compatibility! The easiest way to establish compatibility while holding her interest at the same time is finding common interests. The above example that Dunn used is brilliant. You won't always be as quick and witty as he was, and you don't have to. Just look for things that you both share an interest for and take it from there. Simple as that."
How to approach women tip #2: Be able to take rejection. The biggest thing that scared me about approaching women was that fear of being rejected or laughed at by them. Here’s the thing, though. Most women know how hard it is for a man, any man, to approach women and ask them out. Most will even be flattered. Very few women will make you feel dumb for talking to them. And most of those already have boyfriends.
"It is nearly impossible to succeed at anything in life without first experiencing either failure or disappointment. My father once asked me 'If you approach 100 beautiful women and only 1% are welcoming, how many beautiful women are you talking to?' It was only after many rejections that I got comfortable with the idea, and only then was it that I became successful in meeting women. Why? Because I didn't give a damn and if a woman senses that you are not afraid whether or not she likes you, she will find you both mysterious and interesting."
How to approach women tip #3: Don’t think. Over thinking your approach can hurt you more than it can help you. Women can tell when you walk up to them with a rehearsed speech, especially if you stop halfway through, roll your eyes back, mouth some words to yourself, and then correct whatever you just said. It’s cheesy and lame and women don’t like that. Clear your mind and just start talking. They like a man who is quick on his feet. Even if it takes you a while to get used to this technique, practice it because it really does work.
Question Is Answered On How To Approach Women On The Street
Ron Lewis and David Copeland are two of the most recognized names in the seduction sciences. They have been around for over a decade and have established a reputation that is second to none.
From time to time, Ron and David will answer questions from their visitors. Because these guys are well educated in seduction techniques and ways to approach women, I thought it be necessary to include one of their articles here, on this site.
The question below will answer someone's question on how they can approach a girl on the street. It's something we all want to do but find ourselves backing off out of fear that we may get rejected. After reading the answer they give, you will realize that approaching women on the street is not necessarily something you need to learn. Sure, it helps if you have the balls to do it, but you will have to set yourself up situations where it is easy to approach girls.
I really like the answer to this question because Lewis and Copeland don't bullshit their visitor with ridiculous advice on approaching girls that are walking down the street. They are blunt and honest and explain why someone who is first learning seduction techniques need not worry about any tactics except those that make it easy for you in meeting women.
Question: I often see a woman on the street, and I feel like, "I wish I could go talk to her." What is the answer? How can I go out and approach women?
Answer: If you are thinking "I wish I could go talk to her" when you see a hot woman in a public place, it's a sign that you are not taking advantage of the easy places to approach women in your life.
The thought "I wish I could go talk to her" is the result of a life where you have eliminated all reasonable opportunities to meet women. Therefore the unreasonable, most-difficult opportunities--while on the street, while she's running for a cab--are the only ones that pop up. You end up thinking that the solution is to get good at handling the only opportunities you see--the near-impossible ones. It's not.
You only moan about not being able to approach girls "on the street" when you are NOT approaching women in all the places that you should meet them--social networks, niches, classes, and by being generally involved in your life. Moaning about wanting to meet women on the street is a SYMPTOM of needing to do the basic work of meeting women.
Because you are not doing what you should do to approach women, but you still desire women, you start fantasizing about approaching a woman you see on the street. This leads you either 1) to beat up on yourself for not being able to miraculously seduce those least-available of all women, or 2) to start falling for miraculous quick fix claims that say they can teach you to get those women in twenty minutes or less.
We've said it a million times, but it's still true: if you don't have your life set up so that can approach women automatically and easily, all the quick-fix claims in the world won't do anything but separate you from the money in your wallet.
- If you aren't joining and visiting clubs and teams, you are going to end up longing for women you can't get, who are the most difficult to talk to and seduce.
- If you aren't saying "yes" to social invitations and developing social groups, you are going to end up alone and horny, wishing you could have sex with the hot barista at the coffee shop you frequent.
- If you aren't participating in activities and classes, you are going to start moaning about how you wish you could talk to some woman you see on the street somewhere.
- If you are not doing online dating, then you'll spend your life staring at a woman on the bus and dreaming about how great it would be to be able to walk up to her and seduce her.
Unless you are willing to have balls of absolute, inhuman steel (which you aren't) and unless you are willing to develop a set of scams and routines (which you also probably aren't), then stop thinking the answer is to learn to approach women who are running for a cab! It's not!
Thinking "I wish I could approach women" is NOT a sign that you need to learn how to approach strangers in public, where every hot woman is angered by or terrified of new men talking to her.
Thinking "I wish I could approach women" IS a sign you need to GET A LIFE.
There is no magic phrase or perfect opening line that can take the place of getting a life!
Actually, though, this is good news. "Getting a life" will make you increasingly happy and effective and allow you to approach women in a meaningful way.
This year, consider making this New Year's resolution: Let go of trying to learn scams that don't work, and which make you feel bad about yourself. Stop wanting to be a manipulative jerk, and learn how to make real connections with women--even if those connections are just for short-term sexual relationships.
"The only courses I recommend on this site are those that go deeper into the seduction sciences than pick up lines and tactics. You should never look to deceive or trick a woman because women are very smart. They are approached every day, even the ugly ones, and know when they are being played. Start working on the inside out, first discovering what it is you want and then feeling confident in yourself. Confidence is key because it sets you up and puts you into situations that make it easy to find a girl. If anyone or any course tries to tell you that they have the answer to quickly and magically seduce a woman, know that they are bullshitting you and looking to make a buck off of you."
We've had many students whose lives have become significantly happier in every respect by taking on getting a life, rather than wishing they could approach women on the street. One man says "Since I took up Salsa dancing, and really got into the community, it's been natural for me to meet, flirt around with, and even bed really hot women. That has made it much easier to talk with women everywhere else, too." This could be you.
"Certain tips and ideas escape me while contributing to this site. After all, I am only human. That said, the above mention of taking dancing lessons was one of my favorite ways to meet women. The secret here is to go alone. That way they will couple you with a woman and in most cases, a beautiful woman. All women love dancing and you'd be surprised just how many take lessons. Not only that, but I'd say about 60 percent of them go alone as well. Also, if they see you alone they will assume you are confident and because you are interested in learning to dance, they will admire you. How many guys do you know take dancing lessons? Not many. Only more reason to take dance lessons because the chances that it is a sausage fest are slim to none."
Oh, and here's a bonus: When you have a life that puts lots of women in front of you, and gives you reason to talk to them, approaching women in public becomes significantly easier.
When you have a connected, active social life, you will find yourself becoming the kind of person who naturally talks to strangers, and to whom strangers naturally talk. You won't have to work on it happening--you'll simply find that it happens, when you have a life with women that juices you up.
Put another way, the ability to approach women is a result of having developed a life that is rich in social opportunities that put you in front of women already. Once you have that, approaching women in public will just be part of what you naturally do.
Try this right now: Just for this moment, get off your own back about needing to learn how to approach women on the street. Allow it to be okay that you might never be good at approaching supermodels who are running for a cab, for instance.
At the same time, allow it to be possible that you might have more sexual abundance with hot women than you ever thought possible. Allow yourself to relax into the idea that you can have what you want with women, even if you aren't the Perfect Seducer in every situation.
Then take some steps, today, to develop more social connections with people.
Best of luck!
Ron and David are dating coaches. How To Talk To Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC.
As you can see, these are just three tips on how to approach girls that any man can use. They are not too complicated and can be done with a little bit of practice for each one. I will be adding articles that talk about approaching women as I find them, so check back often.
Jesse Allen
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