The Best Conversation Date Tips
What is it that women are looking for on a date? Is it someone who can take them to an expensive restaurant? Are they looking for a guy to touch and grope them? Do they want to hear about how successful and smart you are? Read my date conversation tips below if you want to learn more.
The one thing women want from any man on a first date is good conversation. The conversation date tips I am about to share with you are very effective and will leave any woman thinking about you for days. That is what you want, isn't it?
A good conversationalist is hard to find because most people either fall into one of two categories:
1) Someone who talks about themselves or anything in general way too much.
2) Someone who doesn't talk enough.
Men are genetically predisposed to talking about themselves, effective only in killing all date conversations. It is one of our weakest traits and one that women absolutely hate with a passion. Not only does it make you seem self absorbed and egotistical, it single handedly defeats the purpose of making a woman feel special. What I mean, of course, is allowing them to talk about themselves.
"One of the biggest conversation date mistakes that guys make while dating is that as soon as they meet the woman, they start talking about themselves instead of listening up to the woman. This is a wrong approach. Women don't like guys who don't give them their full attention. Listen guys, if you want to win a woman, you need to forget about yourself and keep talking to her about herself - what she is good at, what is it about her that you like, how beautiful her eyes are, etc. This is the single most effective way to attract and seduce a woman." - Joseph C from http://seduceyoungwomen.info
Women love talking about themselves. As opposed to men, women aren't looking to discuss their accomplishments or talents, but want to share their feelings. The date conversation topics a woman is interested in are the ones that tap into her heart by having them talk about what makes them feel good. This not only makes them feel good, they will associate a lot of pleasure to talking with you.
When you first meet a woman, before the first date, you want to get as much information out of her as you can. Her goals, dreams, and passions are are what makes her tick, and any man who brings out the feelings associated with those things will have her begging for more time with you. All date conversation topics you choose should do one thing: Make the woman you are with feel good! Here are some conversation tips from Don Diebel from http://www.getgirls.com:
What Kind of Man Are You Attracted To? - This is some very valuable conversation date advice to learn from her. Once you know what kind of man turns her on, you can try to adopt your personality traits and character traits to fit her needs in a man. If you can't live up to her expectations in a man, then perhaps she's not the girl for you.
Women Love to Talk About Their Friends - A conversation date tip I really enjoy using is just simply ask her about her circle of friends. Talk about how they met, what they like to do when they hang out together, the good times they have had together, places they have been, etc. You can get a ton of conversation date ideas from her friends, so chat with them.
Ask Her What She Likes to Do In Her Free Time - This is very important information to know to determine if you have any common interests. Truly compatible couples share common interests. If you don't like the same things, this can cause problems in a relationship. It would also be helpful to ask her about her hobbies. Who knows, you may both enjoy the same hobbies and this can create a strong bond between you.
Do You Have Any Brothers or Sisters? - Most single women have a brother or sister and this is a safe topic for discussion. Your date will usually be willing and open to talk about their brother or sister. Hopefully, it will be positive feedback about them.
Have You Been Anywhere Lately or Ben on a Vacation? - People in general like to talk about the places they have been and their travel experiences. Try to get her to talk about the sites and places she would like to visit. This way you can offer to take her there and make her dreams come true. Plus, she may mention some places you've been and you both can share your experiences.
"Here's what I mean. If, during the conversation, she mentions that she went bowling last week with her best friend, then you should ASK her about it. She's giving you a way to ask her about her personal interests, and she's hoping you'll pick up on that, and run with it.
If she mentions that she went bowling, you could follow up with any of the following questions or remarks:
* Oh that's cool, I used to bowl in a league. How often do you play?
* Who do you usually go bowling with? What other kind of things you and your friends to together?
* I think that's awesome that you like bowling, because it's one of my favorite things. How long have you been playing?
Remember, take what she gives you, and use it as an entry way into a deeper conversation about personal interests, instead of being stuck in endless small talk (which she doesn't want either). Probably the most important conversation date tip you will ever read."
- Jason King
So, what else makes a woman feel good? Easy. Her dreams! This is one of my favorite date conversation tips. If you show a genuine interest in her goals and dreams, she will not only get excited but see you as someone who cares and is willing to support her.
Chat about current entertainment news. Women love this stuff. Whenever I go to a grocery store I always see women people up one of those entertainment gossip magazines. For some reason, I cannot tell you why, they go crazy for news about celebrities and the entertainment business in general. If you have no idea what's going on in the world of entertainment, pick up the latest magazine and read up on it. Immediately you will seem as though you have similar interests and she will look at you as someone who can talk about garbage once in a while.
Find a story about a celebrity who's in the spotlight because of their troubles and psycho-analyze them. Women dissect situations all the time. Breaking down reasons why you think someone acts a certain way, especially if their antics are abnormal, opens up the humor bank and makes her laugh. And laughing, my friend, is the ultimate turn on for women.
Ask about places she would like to travel. I have never met a woman who wasn't absolutely obsessed with travelling the world. Talking about places that she'd like to travel, or places she has travelled to, will make her dream and fantasize. You remember what I said about dreaming, right?
If you're really into the woman you are on a date with and are looking for more than just sleeping with her, ask her about what she looks for in a man. This is your opportunity to get an idea of her expectations and allows you to concentrate on the traits you know she would go crazy for. The dating process is educational. I cannot stress enough that learning as much as you can about a woman is the most effective way to steal her heart. The more you know, the more prepared you'll be. Use these conversation date tips and you will have her eating from your hands.
Knowing which date conversation topics to avoid is just as, if not more important than what to talk about. Stay clear of anything controversial like abortion, rape, political or religious views. You don't want to get into a debate or argument. Focus on things that both of you have in common and be very careful of offending or pissing her off.
Don't discuss past girlfriends or bad relationships. Do you think a woman wants to hear about how hurt you are that your ex left you for your brother? Even worse, never speak negatively about your past girlfriends or anything at all for that matter. You must remain positive and pave the way for laughter and good times. How can someone have a good time if they are going on about how terrible someone or something makes them feel? Not me, and certainly not any woman either.
"It's amazing how often men's "talk" to women is all complaint-oriented.
Recently we witnessed a guy trying to get a woman to like him. His approach? Complain, at great length and with significant anger, about how his credit card company screwed him over by not letting him have the logo of his favorite football team on his card. Believe us when we say, the woman was not impressed. At least, not impressed in the way he would have liked. This guy certainly needs to read more on successful conversation date ideas.
"Not complaining" comes down to something your mother probably told you: If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.
You are better off sitting silently than you are complaining about your life. You are even better off talking about something positive, or listening to her and admiring something positive about her." Ron Lewis and David Copeland from How To Talk To Women
Never choose serious date conversation topics. You want to show your date that you can be serious, but always talk about something that you can quickly make a joke about. If you for some reason bring up Iraq, how do you expect to make her laugh? You can't! And if you try, you'll look like a bastard.
The main point I'm trying to make here is that whatever you do, stay positive and avoid any topic that breeds sadness, insecurity, or fear. We avoid pain at all costs and if you make the mistake of bringing up painful feelings, she will shut out your conversation and will defeat the purpose of your date: To make her think about you long afterwards and to smile when thinking about all your date conversations.
Jesse Allen
How To Start A Conversation With An Attractive Stranger
For many people, starting a conversation with a stranger is an intimidating task. But for you, after reading this article, it will be a breeze.
The best beginning for the conversation is, "Hi".
(I am sure you can master that!)
The second step is to introduce yourself, "Hi, I am Jim."
(Not too tricky, is it?)
Then it goes depending on circumstances.
The three most popular and foolproof conversation-starters are:
- Make a comment about the surroundings;
- Enquire about something unusual in their appearance;
- Ask for a comment from a woman's/man's point of view.
Let's talk about those conversation-starters in more detail.
1. Making a comment about the SURROUNDINGS.
This is the safest and universal conversation-starter. Wherever you are, something's always happening around you. There are people, or cars, or queues, or something else. Even if there is nothing happening, you can make a comment about that! Use a bit of humor in your comment and most of the time you will get a favorable answer.
For example:
- Hi, what a chilly/hot day today (on a hot day, say it's chilly, on a chilly day, say it's hot -- it's VERY funny). I see you are also shivering/sweating. By the way, my name is Jim. What is your name?
- Hi, you know, you look very pretty with these awesome roses as the backdrop. By the way, my name is Jim. What is your name?
- Hey, this queue doesn't seem to be moving, does it? Since we are going to spend the next few hours here together, I guess I should introduce myself: I am Jim. What is your name?
2. Enquiring about something unusual in their appearance.
This requires some skill but after a while you will be able to pick up something in an instant. It can be a tattoo, a piece of jewelry, a handbag, or even an unusual color. People don't buy things at random. They buy them and wear them because they LIKE them, or because they MEAN something to them. They have some pleasant emotion attached to it. If you mention this thing, you can tap into this pleasant emotion and they will consider your advances more favorably.
For example:
- Hi! I could not help but noticed this interesting ring. It isn't an engagement ring, is it? If it is, I will have to end my life in a monastery. And by the way, my name is Jim.
- Hi, I was looking at your earrings; they are exactly what I was looking for, as a present for my sister. Where did you get them? And by the way, my name is Jim.
- Hi, I could not help but noticed the book you are reading, "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". So, what do you think about it? And by the way, my name is Jim.
3. Asking for a comment from a woman's/man's point of view.
This is my favorite!
For some mysterious reason, we just LOVE rendering our opinion as a woman/man. This is such a successful conversation-starter; you can use it anywhere, on anyone. Even 90-year-old grannies will be happy to answer your enquiries.
For example:
- Hi! I am Jim. My friend and I were talking about what women value the most in men they date, and could not agree. Could you please help us out with a woman's opinion?
- Hi, I am Jill. My friend and I were talking about what men value the most in women they date, and could not agree. Could you please help us out with a man's opinion?
- Etc, etc.
It doesn't matter what you are asking about. The point is, we all understand that men and women think differently and we appreciate a thoughtful stranger who makes an effort to learn from the source.
That's it!
You see, it's not scary at all. Just go and try it - first on the people you don't care about, and then on the people you like. You will see that men and women alike generally respond very positively to a friendly stranger.
Start with the service personnel at the shops and cafes. They are PAID to be nice to you. Look them in the eyes and strike a conversation. You will see how easy it is.
Once you learn the skill of starting a conversation with strangers, your life is never going to be the same. You will be able to feel at home wherever you go - simply because you know how to talk to people you never met.
Try it.
It feels fantastic!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Elena Solomon is a dating coach.
Her latest book "12 Simple Rules" became #1 'Love & Romance' bestseller in the leading eBook distribution service in just ONE WEEK after the release. It provides extensive training into successful communication along with practical and fully usable examples. Must read if you are single and seeking.
Get the UNFAIR ADVANTAGE in the battle of sexes!
How To Tell Engaging Stories To Attract And Seduce Women On A Sub-Conscious Level
When you break the process of attraction right down, you see that it has three main constituent parts. These are the vital stages all men and women must work through to build a mutually felt feeling of sexual chemistry and comfort.
First they need to meet each other. Because of social rules, that means that most of the time the guy is going to have to approach the girl and start a conversation with her. They then BOTH need to progress through the middle stage of attraction, which can simply be summed up as "getting to know one another" - except with a difference.
You see, it's one thing to get to know someone and learn about who they are, what they do, what they like, etc. But it's a whole different thing to actually like and feel attracted to someone because of the things you've learned about them. This is the crucial point when it comes to working through the middle stage of attraction properly and really building a feeling in the girl's mind that she wants to be around you more than any other guy she can see or even think of.
A guy could have a conversation with a girl for 90 minutes and feel it's gone really, really well - they've covered lots of topics, learned plenty about each other, etc. But, regardless of how seemingly successful the conversation has been, the girl could very well NOT feel any kind of attraction for the guy. If this is the case, the final stage of attraction, which involves putting the finishing touches to the dynamic between the guy and the girl - in the form of comfort, physical closeness, etc. - is all but doomed. You may as well forget about closing on this girl and arranging a date.
The subject of this article is 'The Power of Stories'. You see, it's through stories that you, as a guy, can turn an hour long conversation with a girl from being pretty interesting and fairly fun, to seriously engaging, extremely fun and - most crucially - capable of making the girl feel an undeniable feeling of sexual attraction for you.
Let's first look at the mistakes most men make.
- They skip from subject to subject when talking to women without covering anything with any real meaning or in any significant depth.
- They don't communicate anything interesting or attractive about themselves in the things they say.
- Because of reasons one and two above, they leave the women they've talked to, at best, thinking they've just had a nice conversation about nice day-to-day things, but nothing more. There's no attraction in the their minds for the guy they've just finished talking to.
Now, let's look at what you SHOULD do.
The first thing you need to bear in mind is that if you want an attraction for you to build in a woman's mind, you need to communicate to her that you are attractive. One of the best way's of doing this is by telling her stories. Stories not only show women that you're confident, interesting and independent, they also make conversations FEEL fun and like you've actually covered something of real significance. It's not like any old conversation a girl might have with a guy, when he asks her boring questions that she can happily answer without even a second's thought. Here's a good example:
Let's say you're talking to a girl and she asks you what you do for a living. Most guys, happy to have been asked any kind of question by the girl, would immediately offer up the name of their profession as their answer. This, though, isn't at all interesting to the girl. Everyone has a job, they're all different and, unless you're an astronaut or explorer, they're all about as interesting as each other. So, instead of answering this kind of question like most guys, do it a little differently. Use the opportunity to tell the girl a story. You don't need to make a big deal out of it, though. Simply start by saying, "When I was this big *hold your hand at about hip level* I wanted to be a...actually, can you guess? It involves horses, lassos and guns" She'll say, "A cowboy!" "Yeah!" you say, "I wanted to be a cowboy. And I mean REALLY wanted it. I had the whole suit: the hat, the shirt with stars on it, the stirrups." You carry on like this, painting a vivid picture as you talk.
You tell her a STORY that is fun to listen to and that progresses as you tell it. You describe how you went to a rodeo to see real cowboys but that actually put you off the idea, because most of them were fat old guys. As you talk in this interesting, detailed way, the girl will naturally be drawn into you and your story. Through your story, she's actually getting a sense of who you are. And the descriptive, confident way you're telling it makes her attracted to you in an overall sense. Chances are that halfway through the story, she'll be asking questions, laughing and joking. You can jump in and ask her what she wanted to be when she was young. The conversation feels free-flowing, dynamic and really unique - the perfect conditions to allow attraction and sexual chemistry to grow.
So, to sum up:
To really attract women when you talk to them, you need to have a conversation with them that is more than the kind of day-to-day chat they could have with any guy. You can do this by making sure you tell them stories that involve emotion, people, places, fear and fun. Your stories will encourage them to tell her own and before you know it they'll be totally wrapped up in you. They'll feel you've covered some really substantial things and a connection with you will be present in their mind because of that fact.
Mr. M.
GrandMaster
BlackBeltSeduction.com
Start your Black Belt
Seduction training today with your 1st month's white
belt training absolutely free!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matt_M
Date Conversation Tips
Imagine you see a woman and only have a few minutes to make your move. What are some good questions to get her chatting comfortably ?
We suggest two things: first, say "hi" to women, and make it a habit. This makes it easier for you to ask her other questions about her, because the two of you already have some sort of a connection from saying "hi." Then look at her, and find some detail about her that is unusual--it could be a bracelet, necklace, even a briefcase! Then say to her, "That's an unusual necklace [or whatever]. I haven't seen one like it before. What's the story behind that?" "What's the story behind that?" is a great, open-ended question that is really good for getting a woman talking, and sharing with you.
What are the most common mistakes men make when trying to chat up a woman ?
There are two kinds of mistakes men make : Not "pushing hard enough" with women, or "pushing too hard." Men who don't push hard enough are "introverted communicators." Men who push too hard are "extroverted communicators." Both need different things.
Most of our students, and most of the men who are attracted to our work, are introverted communicators. These are men who categorize themselves as shy. They have a hard time talking with women and are more likely to end up a wallflower than the life of the party. These men often have no clue about what to say to women and need to start very slowly, taking one small step at a time and building from there.
The primary challenge for the introverted communicator is learning to express himself. He needs to intensify and escalate his signals by 500 percent. He needs to focus on talking more loudly, making more eye contact, overcoming his shyness, being curious, asking questions, showing romantic interest and examining the risks involved. In short, he doesn't need to worry about toning himself down; he needs to worry about turning himself up.
The extroverted communicator tends to be enthusiastic, silly and fun. These are often men who are in sales, teaching or other fields that involve lots of interactions with people.
Extroverted communicators adore being the center of attention. They aren't necessarily scared to talk to women, but they often don't know what to say. They often think that the way to seduce a woman is to turn up the volume of their personality. This is what the introverted communicator needs to do--but for the extroverted communicator, it's a real mistake. If you're an extroverted communicator, try listening more, talking more softy and chilling out. Don't try so hard. In short, the extroverted communicator doesn't need to worry about turning himself up; he needs to worry about toning himself down.
For more on this, just grab a copy of How to Talk to Women
Dating Conversation Topics That Should Be Avoided
What many men forget is that women are picturing, in their minds, whatever you describe, and feeling whatever feelings go along with those pictures. That's why we teach men to direct conversations towards discussions of feeling connected, and loved, and aroused.
But some men still persist in talking to women about depressing things: cats dying, rape, starving children, leukemia...And all the while the women they are talking to are making those pictures, feeling those feelings, and getting more and more upset. Not very seductive.
We suggest that men think of talking to women as an activity with a goal: you are not trying to just chat, like you would with another guy. You've got to monitor yourself a little, and make sure you stay on upbeat topics, or you will be in trouble.
I still hate taking the risk of talking to women I don't know. Isn't there some way to get rid of that risk entirely ?
We say it over and over: You can either take no risk with a woman, and come across as a controlling asshole, and still not be in control (except insofar as you are insuring that you will fail with her), or take risks, one step at a time, creating the possibility of chemistry and a real connection (and possibly get her in bed). There is not way out of taking risks with women. The only option is to take small risks, and build up, as we discuss in our new book, "How to Talk to Women"
If you are still having trouble grasping the importance and magnitude of taking risks, here's what poet and playwright T.S. Eliot said about the subject :
"But let me tell you,
that to approach the stranger
Is to invite the unexpected, release a new force,
Or let the genie out of the bottle.
It is to start a train of events
Beyond your control."
--T. S. Eliot, "The Cocktail Party"
Take the risk of interacting with women, TODAY. You can't get rid of the risk. So take it. Let the genie out of the bottle, and something unexpected and truly cool can happen in your life.
Start A Conversation Like An Alpha Male
Last week I had the easiest pick up and lay in my life, and it all started with me walking by a random girl and saying (using a clear, resonating voice and disinterested, but relaxed and sexual body language), "Hey."
She looked up, expecting me to say something interesting.
My follow-up was simply, "Do you know where the smoothie place is? I'm in the mood for a smoothie."
After that, she kept the conversation going. Simple, right?
Here was the key: I always made sure that she was reacting to me more than I was reacting to her.
When I first started speaking to her, I frankly couldn't care less about what she thought of me.
My mindset was, "I'm just going through my day. But hey, if some hot chick wants to earn my attention, that's cool. If not, I'm going to enjoy my day just the same."
I've coached a lot of guys, and the mistake I most often see a guy make when he opens a conversation with a girl is that he tries to get a response from her.
Maybe he tries too hard to make her laugh. Or he starts asking her weird questions that he shouldn't be interested in when speaking to a total stranger (e.g., "What's you major?" or "How has your day been today?")
This sets her up with a higher value than him.
You see, whenever you set a girl up with a higher value than you (like when you're trying to win her approval), this causes her to lose attraction for you.
In every conversation, there is always one person who is reacting more than the other. The person who reacts less (i.e., is the more relaxed of the two) is the more dominant, or alpha, person.
The person trying to win the other's approval is the one who's more attracted. So a girl will struggle to make small talk and keep the conversation going as long as your value is higher than hers.
Women are attracted to men who are a challenge for them. If at some point it becomes clear that you're trying to win her approval, then there's no longer a challenge for her and she loses interest.
Keep the alpha status and stay in control of the situation right from the beginning. Make sure to not ever react too much to what a girl says. Always remain more relaxed than her.
So the answer to the best way to begin a conversation with a woman is this: Don't try. Don't care what she thinks. Just say whatever you want.
John Alexander is author of "How to Become an Alpha Male". Learn the easy way to talk to girls.
Comments On This Article
Below are submitted comments from visitors like you!
finally-hope
Not rated yet
Hey!I am just saying "what i want." I have been reading and listening to David Deangalo. A guy who came up with "Double your dating".. DYD. After ...