Ask Your Dating Question And I Will Answer
Hello everyone!
This new section will be dedicated to publishing all the questions I receive from AllExperts.com, Yahoo Answers, and from this site along with the answers I respond with.
Take a look at each dating question guys and girls like yourself are asking and read my answers. This is a fantastic way of learning from other people's mistakes so I hope you use it!
Author: *Withheld
Category: How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams
Site: AllExperts.com
Subject: don't know what to do about this girl...
Dating Question: i'll start by saying i've been crushing for this girl (mel) for a while now and i havn't seen her lately because i just thought it would be better to not see her for a while so maybe one day i will see her and she will be very happy to see me... it's funny story actually basically she knew i had a thing for her because i told her best friend that i was interested in her and i tried really hard to get her but she wouldn't give in so i decided to not show her that i liked her anymore, and to not give her the attention i've always gave her, so couple months back i was at this club and i was just hanging out with these nice looking girls and i see mel, shes was looking straight at me like a hawk lol watching me talking to these girls.. then the next time i saw her she "accidently" bumped into me and she said hello i say "hello" back not giving her no attention then i was dancing in the dance floor and she looked and danced over to me like she wanted to dance with me but i didn't bother cause i just wanted to play hard to get like the game she played on me then i just started dancing with this random girl whice was nice looking also just to show mel i can get anyone... very confident ... i know deep inside mel likes me just the way she looks at me you just know... i really like this girl but i don't know what i should do. i havn't seen or talk to her in months and because i havn't been to the clubs in a while now but soon i will make my come back with my new hair style lol but i really want to know what i should do i was thinking about telling her how i feel about her or just ask her out i have no clue... she has no boyfriend and has no boyfriend history she calls her best friend "carly" her boy friend? i don't know lol so please help me figure out what i should do about mel give me a scenario on how to win mel's heart! i was thinking about showing up to her work "walmart" and ask her for help on getting something for valentines day present for someone special and ask her for her opinion on what she would like then buy it from her and then give it to her then just as her that she should let me take her out? lol something i came up with i don't know... so please reply back and tell me what you think : )
thank you.
Answer To Dating Question:
Hi,
First, let me say that although you may have some things to learn you are certainly on the right track.
After reading your dating question the first thing that came to mind was "procrastination is a silent killer". Why? Because though you've done a lot to capture the interest of this girl, you still haven't done anything about it. You obviously have a fear of rejection otherwise you wouldn't be waiting for the perfect opportunity.
Here's a secret for you: There is NEVER the perfect opportunity! All the pieces will never fall together perfectly, but they will land in such a fashion where you can start building on their foundation.
In your situation, a foundation has already been built. Mel knows you like her but like a true player you didn't become a puppy dog and follow her around as though you have no other options.
Taking your word from your dating question, Mel noticed that you are "in demand" and made an attempt to get your attention at the club when she danced in your direction. This, my friend, would have been a wonderful opportunity for you to do "something". However, there is no need focusing on the past and I can assure you that a similar situation will arise again. That is, of course, up to you.
I really like your idea of going to her work at WalMart and asking her for advice on what to buy a "special someone" for Valentine's Day, but Walmart is not exactly the place that yells "romantic"! Instead, ask her advice on something else and then, after she's helped you, tell her that you will be shopping around that day for a gift and would like some ideas from a girl. Not only will you establish trust in her choices but you will also get some "inside" information on what SHE would like.
After seeing her, go out and get the gift for her and on Valentine's day deliver it to her - PERSONALLY. She will be ecstatic, trust me. First, she will realize immediately that the lucky girl you were shopping for was her. Second, you will have made it obvious that you are interested. Reassurance is key not only for men, but for women too. It opens us up and gives us more confidence in perusing someone knowing they already like us.
The only problem I see arising here with your dating question is that she may have already met someone in the past months you didn't see her. While at Walmart dig for information about her current love life. Do this smoothly, otherwise you'll look obsessed. Say something along the lines of "so, anyone special shopping for you this Valentine's Day?" and you will get your answer.
Finally, let me advise against making a "club" your preying ground when looking to seduce a girl you already know. Don't put yourself into an environment where she could do the same thing you did to her like hang out with a bunch of hot guys to get you jealous. If this is the only place that will guarantee a meeting with her, fine. If she frequents other places that you know of, pursue her there instead.
In conclusion I would like to tell you that you're well beyond most men who ask me a dating question and I'm confident that one day you'll be able to get any woman you want. Your techniques are solid and your focus is excellent. Now all you have to master is confidence and to eliminate your fear of rejection. An article I have published on the fear of rejection and the two driving forces that determine whether or not you approach a woman can be found here.
Good luck with your mission and I will be eagerly awaiting the results or any other dating question you may have.
Author: Daryl
Category: Single's And Dating
Site: Yahoo! Answers
Subject: Do i stand a chance???
Dating Question:
hi..i have fallen for a classmate of mine...she is a very busy girl..i always sms her but she seldom reply my message...mostly no reply at all..i seldom talk to her in school...my friends all tease me and her...i have sent her miss you message and love you message before but she just like do not bother at all...just treat it like nothing happen.sometime i ask why never reply me she said she very busy and no time...we in school still behave like normal..never avoid each other...so do u think i have a chance to be with her???????
i have ask her out before for a few times but she said she busy always....
well..i would like to add...she is always busy with school project...everyday she go tuition for a few hours...i'm a shy boy so that's why i seldom talk to her...i have ask her out on her birthday..i said i wanna give her a treat but she said no need and she has no time....the text message i sent like i love you and miss you is not directly..it's like a cute message...
Answer To Dating Question:
Hi,
Look, I don't want to sound like a prick or anything, but in order for you to get this girl you are going to have to do some serious damage control in order to remedy the problem outlined in your dating question.
Years ago I was just like you. A puppy dog to girls. Over the years, after extensive study and research in seduction, I learned that coming across as too "needy" or "eager" to please or impress a girl got me nowhere.
What stuck out most in your dating question was the idea that you could tell a woman who you are not involved with that you love her. Not only that, you did this through SMS!
Messaging a girl and telling her you love her is ONLY for those in a relationship. And by relationship I do not mean "just being in the same class as her."
Telling someone that you love them is a big deal and you should treat it as just that. Don't throw it around as easily as you have. It will freak girls out and have them believe you are desperate.
The best thing you can do now concerning your dating question is just back off. Stop sending her messages and keep your conversations brief. You want her to think that you are busy as well and have things going on in YOUR life too.
You may or may not already know, but no woman is too busy to hang out with a guy they like. This goes for men as well. People will sacrifice time in order to be with the person they fancy and that is no secret.
Also, you should never ask a woman why she is not responding to your compliments or invitations. It's annoying and exposes insecurity.
You have skipped many important steps in seducing and attracting this woman and have left her either confused or freaked out by your strong come on. It is obvious that you have had little or no experience in getting girls by your approach and the best advice I can give you is to read up on some seduction tips from websites on the internet and if you have any trouble, feel free to send me another dating question.
Author: *Withheld
Category: Single's And Dating
Site: Yahoo! Answers
Subject: How to seduce someone who has no idea you're interested?
Dating Question:
Seduction can be a wonderful thing, when done under the proper circumstances. There's an older man (meaning I'm quite younger... yes, I'm legal) that I've known for a couple months, he's in law enforcement. I met him at a type of luncheon for emergency personnel (I'm an EMT student). At that time, he was separated from his wife, and had been for quite some time. Since then, the divorce has been finalized. Considering that this man has much, much sex appeal, I've noticed it's not unusual for women around him to wink, smile or do little things like touch his arm. However I'm afraid he has no idea I'm interested, and the reason is more than likely because of my age, plus I tend to take my time with these types of things so it's not exactly out in the open.
When I say seduce, I don't technically mean straight to sex, but of course I do mean a sexual relationship... How can I go about doing this? I don't want to mess it up, so I'm just looking for some different perspectives.
Answer To Dating Question:
If you've known this man for a while, the attraction has already been established. Depending on whether or not he is currently attracted to you will really help when beginning the seduction process.
If you have no idea, I suggest you start doing things that will make him see you in a sexual way. This is not to say you have to go out and dress like a hooker. You can accomplish this with far more classier tactics and below I will answer your dating question with solid advice.
Eye contact is very important. You want to look into his eyes and then see if he's returning looks. If he's smiling while looking into your eyes for any prolonged time (usually longer than 3 seconds), then you're on your way.
You mentioned that it wouldn't be unusual for women around him to wink, smile or touch his arm. Don't be the woman who doesn't do this. If you don't at least match what these other women may be doing, you'll be left in the same category as his mother - untouchable!
What I get out of the dating question email, and I could be wrong, but your focus is more on the age difference than on how you could be seducing this man. A simple change of focus will do you wonder because we tend to move toward what we focus on.
Seducing a man is not nearly as difficult as seducing a woman, for obvious reasons. Finding a good man to spend the rest of your life with, now that's a whole different story.
I sense that you are looking for more of a fling than for a long term relationship, but that's just an educated guess and only you know that answer for sure. If your main goal is to seduce this man into sex, or to get him into a long term sexual relationship as you said, then sending sexual signals is the way to go. A gentle touch on his forearm or whispering something into his ear should do the trick. Anything other than just "standing around."
All I'm saying, really, is that you have to KNOW what you want before you could possibly SHOW him what you want. In this instance, a lot of hot sex. Once you know what it is you are aiming for, the better chance it is you'll hit the bulls eye.
Remember, I'm always around so if you have another dating question you'd like to ask, feel free to do so. This is a gradual process and even after you've conquered this current problem of you, there will certainly be more dating questions later.
Author: Roy
Category: How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams
Site: AllExperts.com
Subject: a woman i love
Dating Question: My name is Roy and a few years ago i was having a drink with some friends in the afternoon when a woman came into the pub to use the toilet and my eyes just gazed at hers. Beautiful and innocent i just wish i knew who she was. She came out of the toilet and that was as far as i knew the last time i knew her. In the past and after this event i have been with different women ( 2 to be honest )and seen many women as friends but they've never really made me happy or i just was not interested and i realized i didn't know what i wanted. This woman i saw was perfect and i wish i knew her but i didn't go to look for her.
Anyway, one day, a year or so later it was coming up to Christmas and i was in the market area outside the shopping centre when i saw her selling flowers and plants. After all this time i saw again and it never occurred to me to go up to her. But it brought back that moment when i first laid eyes on her. I realized over a period of two months that she was always working there on Fridays and Saturdays so on and off i would walk past her or sit down have a coffee ,and she would notice me and raise a smile and i would return the compliment. As i was always busy i never always saw her so sometimes weeks and even months would pass until i saw her again.
Slowly i started to get to know her; "how are you?" and light banter. The reason i do this and i realize this now is that i have always felt comfortable around her. Sometimes in the past i would see that she is so busy with customers and from a distance she has this look of sadness or loneliness ( i can only wonder ). When i walk pass her and give her notice her whole face lights up and she smiles at me and gazes at me.
Everytime i see her i don't get tight or nervous i just feel so happy inside and watching her makes me say to myself 'whatever happens, i'm so happy that she exist. If i had a chance with her i know i would make her so happy'.
I don't have any expectations but my feelings have developed for her and in these last 6 months my heart has grown so big that i love her. I wish i could tell her my feelings but i don't want to spoil things. Three months ago i decided that i wanted to somehow express my feelings for her so i went down during the day when it wasn't busy and told her that i would like to get to know her and that i think she is the most amazing person i had ever met and that i wanted to take her out for a drink in the evening. She was happy about it but she said she couldn't and she showed me her ring. I told her i wouldn't do anything to get in the way of her relationship. I told her that i had seen her so many times and she said that she had also seen me, but her situation prevented her from going any further. So i left it alone feeling annoyed and thinking to myself 'keep it cool Roy and appreciate that she has noticed you'.
Durng the next three months i would still maintain friendship where i would buy her coffee and have the odd chat, even make friends with her pet dog Harry. Her face and eyes still lights up when she sees me. About a month ago i went down late in the afternoon as she was packing up and i asked her how she was and she told me that she was setting up a new stall in the heart of Kent. She was doing this because her situation had changed. She said she was moving down there and would a get a flat on her own and that she was in the process of dealing with solicitors.....i noticed that the ring on her finger was no longer there. For that moment i felt lonely and i wish i could tell her that i want to be with her, but i controlled myself. She told me where she would be.
So afew weeks later i went down there and after hours of looking and walking i found myself on a country road on my own feeling increasingly dejected and lonely because i had still not found her. Suddenly i was looking to my right on the road and there she was on her own looking after a tree nursery with Harry running up to me because he recognised me. Her eyes lit up and she came out to greet me, she said with a smile "you found me". The feelings inside me were so powerful i wanted her to know by just looking at me that i'm here because i want her to know that i still exist. She still maintained that she was still in a situation. The ring was still not present so i gathered that something has happened but it was not my call to comment on it. After helping her pack things up she gave a lift and told me despite what she said that she'll see me later. A common expression but one that also suggest an open door to come and see her again. I said i would come up and that i wouldn't do it all the time because i didn't want to make her feel awkward and complicate things
I really like her and now i love her. Its not lust, my heart is really true to her. I think about her all the time, she doesn't affect my life in terms of work or social life but she is so much the woman i want to be with.
Since than i haven't seen her for about nearly 3 weeks and have decided as i write this to you that i'm going down to see her again.
Jesse what do i do in this situation
Yours Truly
Roy
Answer To Dating Question:
Hi Roy,
I will be honest with you and tell you that this is a very difficult dating question to answer. I get them all the time. Man likes woman or vise versa but the other person is in a "situation".
I could very easily write all bunch of tips to seduce this woman and steal her away from her current boyfriend/fiance, but my experience convinces me not to do any such thing in answering your dating question.
Though you and this woman obviously have a connection and would probably make a wonderful couple, it is best that you back off and move on. Unfortunately, because you do love this woman I am guessing you will not take that advice to your particular dating question.
I understand how difficult it can be when you are in love with someone who is already involved, but I also know that the best thing to do is not disturbing a man and a woman's relationship. People get hurt when you interfere and most of the time it is you. Don't put yourself into that situation.
It is very hard for me to deter people from going after what they want, but sometimes what we want is out of our hands. Sure, you could easily get this woman - especially if she's not happy in her current relationship. But then again, you could push the envelope too far and risk never seeing her again.
That said, my best advice to your dating question is to "go with the flow" and see how things end up with this girl's current situation. If she truly loves you and is unhappy, she will become available. It is up to you whether or not you are strong enough to wait around or possibly accept the fact that she is untouchable.
In conclusion, I must say, why must love always be so challenging?? ;-) Ahhh - without a challenge and some patience, it wouldn't be love, would it?
Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
Regards,
Jesse
Author: Andrew
Category: How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams
Site: AllExperts.com
Subject: in love but not together
Dating Question: LAst November a coworker that I had been working with for three years all of a sudden became very attractive to me. She's a smart sexy woman who just has that extra swagger that makes her incredible. I was recently separated and she recently split with her boyfriend of 4 years. We both were always attracted to each other but we just didn't realize it. Anyway, we became friends and that quickly turned into much more than that. True, we were both not in very good places to begin new relationships, but yet it all just seemed so right and we both agreed that this was like nothing we have ever had in a relationship before. I guess you could say there was a connection that was undeniably strong.
Sadly, it would happen that the ex boyfriend and her were not really done because after three months she told me that she needed to give it one last attempt with him. I understood and realized that we were most likely on borrowed time in the first place given our situations. We agreed that we could still be friends and we parted ways romantically very amicably.
We spent the next few months as friends with nothing more than a sly smile that we'd trade every now and then in the office. But no flirting of any kind. I had started to date other women as my divorce was finalized and had some decent dates here and there but nothing really great or long lasting. Meanwhile she and her boyfriend were planning to move in together to a house they purchased jointly. I kinda think that she was always on the fence about this but like I say, she needed to do what she needed to do.
So the real problem is this. Over the summer, we began to flirt again. Nothing serious. It was almost like an inside joke between us. But it became more serious and eventually she admitted that she had very strong feelings for me that she never told me about back then and that they never went away. She told me that it was love on her part. I didn't believe her and thought that she was just missing something from her other relationship and was trying to find it from me. So a few more months go by and the flirting cooled a little because I was naturally very cautious now of her. I know that I had strong feelings that did not go away either and I did not want to get involved with her for obvious reasons.
So last month we were together at a meeting and had lunch. She again asserted her feelings for me and this time for whatever reasons I believed her. She is living with her boyfriend but is in love with me. Ughhh. I told her that it is not fair to me for her to feel that way, or to at least dump that on me when she is not yet willing to act on those feelings. IT;s very frustrating as I see her every day and each day she leaves to go sleep in her house with her boyfriend, yet her feelings for me are as strong as she has ever felt. I know that it;s as strong with me as it is wither her. But what the hell do I do. I know that we were not together for that long, but when you just know, you just know,... this was no fling ....farthest from it.
I don;t want her to leave him for me unless she knows that he is not the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with...something that I think is kinda obvious..... OR, she realizes that she needs to find her way back to me to see where the future lies with us a a couple.
SoI need some advice, do I:
A. Tell her that we have no future together until she has reached some resolution in her current relationship...this includes no flirting, puppydog stares, no comments on how amazing we are together, blah blah blah,
Or.
B. Do I accept the flirting, flirt back and use all my charm to make her decision easier.
Or,
C Just be my normal amazing self and let her reach the decision all on her own and let the future take care of itself.
HELP!!!
Thanks
Answer To Dating Question:
Hi Andrew,
Don't you just love women who can't make up their mind? Makes you wonder that if she were with you, would she be flirting with other men? I would be VERY cautious because it looks as though she wants the best of both worlds.
My advice to you would be a combination of A, B, and C.
You MUST tell her that unless the situation on her end is resolved there is nothing that can blossom from your current relationship. Not only is it sneaky and immoral, but it is not fair to you and you do NOT deserve to be led toward a dead end.
Don't flirt with her anymore. Stop using your charm and begin treating this woman as any other you know who is involved with another man. If you do this, and she truly yearns your love, flirting, etc, then she will make a decision much quicker. Deny her what you've been giving her and maybe then she will sit down and think about what she REALLY wants.
Best of luck,
Jesse