What Drives Us? Pain vs. Pleasure - The Two Driving Forces That Determine Whether Or Not We Are Successful With Women
By Jesse Allen
Approaching a woman, like every decision we choose to make in our life, depends on two things: Avoiding pain and attaining pleasure. There's your answer to what drives us. Easy eh?
These two concepts are the ONLY two driving forces that determine what we choose to follow through with. Understanding and being aware of these things can be used to your advantage in all aspects of your life...not just approaching women.
Since this website is for those looking to improve their self confidence and ways how gain confidence with the opposite sex, I will use examples that apply to that particular topic.
Engrained within every living creature is a survival mechanism whose main purpose is to avoid pain at all expense. Without this, the survival of a species would be in jeopardy.
Our ability as animals to instinctively avoid pain is what prevented our primitive ancestors from running up to a lion and petting it. Over time, after making this mistake, we've learned that lions = dangerous.
As human's primitive ancestors evolved, their instincts were supplemented with a new, very powerful tool: The ability to analyze and make conscious decisions. We learned to think before we acted and slowly moved away from just relying solely on our reactions.
The best example that is in context with the theme of approaching females is best illustrated when studying apes.
When an ape has the desire to have sex, they act on it. They don't care if the other ape wants it or not. They just do it without thinking.
Human beings are the only animals who don't worry about things like rejection or how attractive they are. They don't care. All they know is that sex equals pleasure and do everything in their power to attain it. Even if it means taking it against another animal's will. We are lucky that we can think about and discover what drives us because as humans, we can work with it. An ape, for example, cannot.
After developing our brains, we humans were given the ability to think twice everything, including our urges and desires (the only exception is our fight or flight instincts). This new found self awareness, though very important to the development of humans and civilization, backfired in many ways to those who didn't know how to use it properly.
New ideas emerged. We started questioning morality and ethics, trying to determine what was right, and what was wrong. This has lead us to where we are today and will continue to change as long as we are on this earth.
Up until recently, men were not concerned about what a woman thought of them because it didn't matter. Women were property and had very little say in who they ended up with.
Over time, things changed. Women's rights moved forward and were choosing who they would be with. Competitive juices were heightened within men, forcing them to compare their assets with other men. This led to insecurity and doubt.
Fast forward to modern day.
Many things have changed since we were swinging from trees. What I'm here to tell you is that the underlying driving forces are exactly the same. Becoming aware of these forces will change your life forever.
If you are reading this article, I am guessing that you have had the same problems as I had. Struggling with the fear of rejection and worrying about not measuring up to the opposite sex.
This is the first thing you will have to change before applying any seduction techniques!
Why? Just think of it. How are you going to apply any tips you learn to seduce women when you don't know about what drives us...like rejection, for example? You're not! You'll hide from it like the plague, not doing anything and sleeping alone.
If you see a beautiful woman walking down the street, what do you do? I bet you look at her, think about how hot she is, and wish that you could go up and talk to her.
After admiring this beautiful woman, your brain starts sabotaging nature's desires to approach her. How? It will give you reason upon reason why a woman like that would never be with a man like you.
Furthermore, this sneaky little brain of yours begins listing reasons why approaching her could mean massive pain:
If I approach this woman and she rejects me, I will be so humiliated!
She'll probably see all of my physical flaws and laugh in my face!
A woman like that MUST have a man!
Even if I did somehow seduce this woman, she would eventually leave me for someone better.
And so on.
Why would any man approach a woman after telling themselves how poor of a chance they have? I sure as hell didn't and I know that you feel the same way. Analyzing these questions and knowing what drives us will help you tremendously in switching it around to your advantage.
There is a very simple solution to the way we think and it will change your life immediately.
Why not use these forces to our advantage? What do I mean? I'll tell you!
The secret is not to associate pleasure to approaching this beautiful woman. We already do that. You have to start linking pain to NOT approaching her! It is a very simple psychological technique that has been studied for years and you'd be surprised on how quickly it alters your frame of mind!
Start asking yourself:
If I don't do something now, I will go home and regret not doing anything!
I am tired of being lonely and absolutely MUST approach her and know that at least that I tried!
If she is my soul-mate I will miss out on ultimate happiness forever and be forced to settle!
The idea here is to link enough pain to NOT taking ACTION. So powerful a concept that if mastered, could be the only thing you'll ever have to know about controlling what drives us. Like I said earlier, this can be applied in other areas of your life.
Procrastination, which is the "silent killer", is one area this helps with a lot. When I was in school, I was one of many who put off assignments to the very last minute. I thought that doing the work was far more painful than getting it finished.
After learning how our psyche works, I started applying some of these neuro-technologies. I didn't look at those assignments as being boring and painful. Instead, I sat down and thought about how stressed I'd be if I did leave them for the night before. I took the information I knew about what drives us and used it to my advantage.
This was enough to get my ass into gear. And the more I used this these techniques to control what drives us, the better I became at using them. Over time, I had linked so much pain to not getting the things I wanted that I eventually went out and got them!
Anyone can learn how to manipulate what drives us. Education is the key to everything, but even knowledge alone cannot guarantee action. There are a lot of people out there who "know better" but continue doing things that hurt them. Why?
Knowing something does not work on its own. You have to really feel the potential pain of your actions or lack of action. Sitting down and feeling this pain to the point of tears is the best way to go about this. Knowing what drives us is not enough. You have to feel it! I cannot say this enough.
There are probably some of you out there thinking "Is this guy serious?" Your answer is yes. Damn right I'm serious and unless you are willing use this advice on how to manipulate what drives us that I am giving you, you will fail.
Sorry to be so blunt, but it's the truth. And if you still don't believe me and are looking for magic tricks that will help you with women and other areas of your life, I don't want you on my website. I am not a magician nor a miracle worker. I cannot help those who are not willing to help themselves. And if you're not willing to take a look at human psychology and, more importantly, what drives us, you are not serious enough.
If you are one of the few who take this advice and apply it, I will do everything I can to help. My contact information is available and would be more than happy to show you how you can apply this very valuable information into your quest to succeed with women.
I hope this has helped some of you, and remember that "you only fail at the things you don't act on."
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